To Whom it May Concern:
I do not deny killing Chadwick. Let’s get that off the table right now, shall we? With the pre-meditation of any trained actor (involving a crash course in chemistry and poisons which has been well-documented if a tad overblown by the tabloids who draw me as some sort of Batman villain boiling beakers in a Honeywagon)— I did succeed in ending Chadwick’s life.
I did not succeed in getting away with it. Dear audience, may I ask you now to ask yourself: Do you revile me for my act of killing? Or is it the fact that I didn’t get away with it which repulses you most? The neutered, cerebral man I played on television was - I am the last to humbly admit from inside my prison cell - smarter than I. All the more reason to hate me, you say? Yes, I am now become {sp} double the killer in your eyes, dear audience — not only the murderer of my own beloved co-star but your childhood illusions too! Who cares if my murder was not of a human being (therefore does it really constitute the word murder, one asks oneself?) Now, this is not an attempt to minimize my deed. It is simply a fact which demands to be established clearly. (You can remove the actor from his work but you can never expect him to stop prioritizing language.)
Chadwick was a dog.
Confession # 1: I hate the man who killed that talented, beloved DOG almost as much as you do. The “almost” on account of me knowing my own peculiar story, which I intend to share, thanks to the help of Jimmy, who is transcribing these letters from afar as I siphon them out from “the jungle” (as we have all come to affectionately call San Bernardino County Correctional). Thank you, Jimmy. It is fans like you who see in me something redeemable and illuminate the road towards possible redemption. And yes, even justice, not just my own, but to the REAL but SILENT perpetrators whose crimes FAR EXCEED caneicide (the proper, if newly coined term, which I hope the reputable journalists amongst you will circulate.)
Are you a journalist, Jimmy? Or do you write strictly that stuff you sent? If you have any investigative work (beyond investigating “STD-ridden navels,” as you depicted in your - poem (?)- I’d love to study your non-fiction work to ensure my twist-ridden story is in strong hands.
Please send articles via our mutual friend. The jungle is loud tonight…
Sincerely,
Laurence Corman Alagati
Actor & Inmate #498287