Letter to A Movie Director

+_+_+_

Curious if you’re aware
how closely this role
resembles my life
but I’m hesitant to ask
or submit
some laundry list of similarities.
I find it creepy when actors insist
they are “meant” for a role.
The writing of X is stunning
so naturally
there will be many
Men
Who
Know him

But I’m not even talking about his inner life.

Just facts.

Like X….
I have been living in XXXXXX for X years,
chain smoking for XX more;
working out like a convict tho you couldn’t tell since XXX8,
I don’t XXXXX anymore,
I drive a random but beloved car made in 199X,
Which is older than most of my exes,
etc.
etc.
I’m running out of places to bury the bodies,
Etc.
People have died on me,
Etc.

Only slightly more unique
than death
is:

Online
A year ago
I started putting out
my own X
under an X-name
My X, despite having only 35 followers —

(at age 37 I’ve earned 1.05 fans per year
So by age 79, I will have made it to 79.1)

— brings me great relief.

I’m not as honest as X but
I want to be
Amazing things happen when you
X
Your movie captures this.

Agony born of believing
you are a writer
Similar to agony
born of believing
you are meant to play
a certain role
In a certain movie
But much
Much much
much
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W o r s e.
_+_+_+_+_

Who else knows this?
Nobody
Admit it
I’m delici—
+_+_+_+_+_+_+

I’ve had a book written by X on my shelf for years now
never opened it,
never knew we drank the same water…
And now I am swimming in
to convince you, to sell you
I am meant for the role.
Honestly what fuck else am I supposed to believe?
It dismembered me.
So I am slithering.

I was not lying
The script caused my house to flood
Ten towels worth

Our approach to X
Could be like X
For instance, my mom was on the X-files,
Do you need to know those kind of details?
No.

Let Men Be
Let them do their jobs privately,
Angrily & Invisibly
Allow the mutual shadow
To become
One Big Invisible Man
Men Can See

I am better than X
Whenever I don’t want to be.

I can hear him now, thinking:
“This fuckin guy
Who cares if he read ‘Ham on Rye’
Has he ever done one thing
To honor the dying words
of our father the mailman?
‘Don’t try.”
?

Well.

Fuck you.

Put me in the box, see
Who buckles, turns blue
It will be me, asshole
My weaknesses
Are
Your virtues

I don’t know.
Maybe I’m psycho.
Maybe the ways in which X mirrors my life
Ends up being more of a hindrance than a help to the performance,
who knows
who cares
Maybe it’s like saying,
“I, too, eat tacos”
“Bro”

But……………… Nah……… NO.

truth is; you can do it without me
But you’d be doing it wrong.
That’s honest.
And wrong.
I should’t say that - it’s bland
But my life is in your fucking hands!

“My invisible life
in the hands of
an even more invisible-r man….”
think both X’s,
On Oct 9,
at the exact same time
;-0 !!!

“Thank you sssssir, (slithering)
for sssending your ssssscript to me
It hassssssss truly been a reminder to”

(stands up, reveals 7 cocks)

Let Men Be
Let them do their jobs privately
Angrily & Invisibly
Let our mutual shadow
Become One Big Invisible Man
Men Can See

In X, i trust
He will take us
Wherever we are ‘meant’ to go
I just thought you should know…

Yours,
X.